On the Question

Yesterday I posted a blog about my new "most important question" for life: Who is Jesus to you today?

Today, a thought in support of this question: it hinges entirely upon the claim of resurrection (which all of Christianity hinges upon); namely, the resurrection of the teacher from Nazareth nearly 1980 years ago. I suppose, for those who wrestle with the truth of Christianity, that this is the most important detail for you to grapple with. Historians are basically unanimous that there was a man named Jesus who was, like thousands of others, executed by way of Roman crucifixion in the neighborhood of 30 AD. The movement that began shortly thereafter which involved, essentially, the worship and imitation of Jesus, was predicated on the claim that he came back to life. This was enough to convince a handful (though a minority) of Jews that Jesus was their long-awaited Messiah, and enough to convince an at first small, but then growing, group of non-Jews that the Jewish God was the true God and that the man Jesus was the Human Incarnation of that God.

So, either the resurrection happened and Jesus is someone to us today, or it didn't, and the claims of Christians are empty, divisive, and cruel (for the non-Christian world is repelled by the exclusivity of Christian salvation paired with the Judeo-Christian claims of God's omniscience).

Either the followers of Jesus stole his body and subsequently endured vicious deaths to protect their revolutionary deception (which won them no riches, no political power, no broad-scale respect), or Jesus came back to life.

Another option is a grand hallucination to the tune of hundreds of people. In their grief, Jesus' followers yearned so badly for his resurrection that they unanimously and synchronistically hallucinated his presence among them. Of course, the accounts tell of Jesus appearing to different groups at different times. So, either the physical life re-entered Jesus' body, or a whole community hallucinated that it did, and believed it so firmly that they were willing to be alienated, persecuted, jailed, and executed to support what they saw.

If the resurrection did not happen, the answer to my big question can be little more than "Jesus is a crazy or diabolical Jew who developed a following about 2000 years ago and was then executed." Perhaps this answer could go so far as to say "some of his teachings (but not all) are ethically respectable and have had good influence in history, and in my life."

It strikes me: that last answer is, in my estimation, the way most Christians actually live their lives. We (I must group myself in this, based on my normal way of living) live like Jesus is a character in a book that we have decided will be the source of our moral code, albeit one of the more significant characters (along with guys like Abraham, Moses, David, Elijah, and Paul). That way of living will lead ultimately to a loss or death of faith, and rightfully so. If the resurrection didn't happen, Christianity is little more than a divisive and outdated religion that has intoxicated people's minds for centuries.

If it did.... then Jesus is still actively someone today. So, who is he to you today?

The Daily Quest[ion]

Before I begin: Thanks, Michele Mollkoy, for nudging me back to this blog. Your words are just what I needed.

Just over a century ago, a book swept the Christians of this nation (and not a few seekers) called In His Steps. In this book, a community of people committed to the mentality that, in the face of everything that happened to them in a normal day, they would ask a question before they responded: "what would Jesus do?"

Many in my generation still wear bracelets with the now too familiar "WWJD." However, after both waves of that question, knowledgeable theologians and pastors joined in the chorus of criticism of this question. Unless one has gone through significant transformation on deep levels, one can ask that question ad nauseam and rarely, if ever, actually do what Jesus would have done. Life simply comes at us too fast, and there are too many factors playing into our every decision. Knowing what Jesus would do, furthermore, requires knowing Jesus.

I've been asking a new question these days, and it feels like the beginnings of a grand experiment akin to Frank Laubach's inspiring journey to spend every moment in the presence of God, preserved in the book Practicing His Presence. It is born out of the frustration that most Christian feel at some point, and pastors who preach passionately feel regularly: I talk about Jesus a lot, and know a lot more about him. But in most of my life, I don't really live like he's really alive. With that, I had to go back a few steps. My spiritual maturity isn't at the point where I can ask a more interactive question.

So, I've been asking of myself and anyone I can get a few minutes with: Who is Jesus to me today? For first timers, I have to clarify: I'm not asking who Jesus was. Nor am I asking what Jesus did. Theological truth is wonderful, and should shape how we know Jesus (or whether the one we know is the real Jesus), but I'm starting with one piece of theological truth: the Bible claims that Jesus is alive, right now, and that by the Holy Spirit, he is intimately involved in the lives of his followers. If that's true... he's someone to me right now.

The reason I have to ask it this way is because I know myself. I act a certain way based on who is around. When I'm with my mom, I am one way. When I'm with the people of my church, I'm another. When my good friends from college are around, I'm another. Shouldn't it be the same with Jesus? Well, that's only true if I'm aware that he's with me. And he has set things up in a way that I have to choose to be aware of him. The way I choose? By asking the question.

So, who is Jesus to you today? And, what need in your life does your answer reveal?

"Pressing In"

It's a churchy phrase.... "pressing in." I have this little piece of me that doesn't like it because it's churchy. If I walked into the restaurant I've been doing two shifts a week at and told them they needed to press in, I would get lots of ideas about what I was saying. Not one of them would be what Charismatic Christians mean when they use it. Probably not one of them would be okay to say out loud in church without someone fainting.

But the idea of it is on me today. To give a more understandable picture, "pressing in" is that idea of people exerting their energy, their thoughts, their time, and their emotions in order to know God more. This may be through biblical study, through prayer, through musical worship, or through quiet meditation. The image is of a cloud of God's presence right next to us, and all we need to do to get in is lean our weight into it.

This is the strange thing about "already, not yet:" For whatever reason, God has made us in such a way that we've got to go through this process of exertion pretty regularly. It seems to be contingent upon our ability to stay focused or attentive. As soon as we find ourselves distracted, we're back in the place of needing to "press in" again.

This morning, I was trying to find some notes from a sermon I heard several years ago. I knew they were in the journal I was writing in at the time... but I didn't know which, so I flipped through 5 or 6 full journals to find it. By the time I found the notes, I didn't even read them, as I was so overwhelmed by this quick glance at my life for the last 5 years. Some of us are made in such a way that we have to really exert our energy to press in. I am one of those people. Either I am inside that cloud and feeling totally alive, or for whatever reason, I am just outside of it...

Theologically, let it be clear that this strange reality of "already not yet" is not a matter of God extending his presence and then retracting it every time our minds wander. It's more a matter of our own jumping in and out of awareness of it. To put it in another way, your heart is always beating while you're alive, but it takes focus and quietness for you to listen to it, tend to it, or even adjust it. God's presence, for believers, is a greater, more fixed reality than the heart beating in your chest (already); but takes greater attention and focus to "tune into" than finding your own pulse (not yet).

So, what are you doing today to "press in?"

On a Monday

I used to think "radical faith" or "radical trust" were terms to be reserved for people who are living the Kingdom on levels I only write, pray, and speak about right now (God, change me as you desire).  

But for the last several weeks, Monday morning has provided a chance to step out onto the water for me.  The storm, to keep the metaphor, is financial in nature.  God is teaching me a whole new variety of trust... and for the last several weeks, I have not handled it well.  Because I grew up in one of those rare families where "money stress" was almost completely unheard of, I believed I had the gift of freedom from financial anxiety.  

I was a kid who had never been at sea... and suddenly I find myself aboard a small boat caught in a big storm.  

So, what does one do?  I searched the options, begged friends and family for words that would bring me peace, sought false stability in falsely stable options, and found every one of them coming up short.  Drowning, it seemed, was inevitable.  

But there's a Man standing out there on the water.  And today, at least for now when the storm isn't raging quite as badly, I'm choosing to look at him.  

After years of fancy-ing myself one who could give some pretty sharp advice, real fear, real anxiety, the real possibility that the "things" which give me security could become nightmares, have all broken the mould.  And all I can say to anyone any more is simply this: 

Look at the Man standing on the water.  Kingdom life, full of tension and wonder, will follow.

("Let us fix our eyes...")

Long Time

It's now been 14 months since my last post.  

As the purpose of this blog is "Kingdom Speak," I will keep this personal note short: 

These 14 months have, for the most part, been among the most difficult and painful months of my life, and yet, the last 6 of them have also marked the beginning of the second greatest gift of my life, behind the gift of being known by and knowing Jesus himself.  Without too much detail, that gift is the wild adventure of falling in love, and finding out that it is as good as I ever imagined and at the same time nothing like I have ever known.  

In these two poles that create the great tension of the last 14 months, I find the paradox of the Kingdom writ large.  I spoke briefly of the joy... here is a glimpse of the pain: In these months I lost--at least for now--mentoring relationships that were priceless to me, especially in my spiritual growth; and I was (at least partially) to blame for those losses.  In these months I watched, and continue to watch, the church that I love, the church that I still feel overwhelmingly called to, be whittled down to the core of the core, down to a handful of faithful families.  I have gone from a man with a steady paycheck and very few financial worries to a man who has to fight not to be consumed by lack.  And I am in the process of seeing one of my best friends in the world and a true spiritual big brother to me be called out of the post we have shared for the last 5 years into the unknown.  

If it weren't for the joy of love, I cannot imagine this story.  

And so the Kingdom continues to find ample illustrations in tug and pull of every day life.  Paul describes, in Romans 5, the peace of Christ that is given to we who have been made righteous, and immediately begins to explain the suffering of Christians in this world.  Joy and Pain are not mutually exclusive, but rather, appear to be a package deal.  

Encountering Famous Ones

Last week, I had the opportunity through a friend to spend two nights at one of the most luxurious ski-in, ski-out hotels in the world. The skiing was fantastic, but the highlight of this place is the spa. The group of us, who are far from taking something like this for granted, spent a significant amount of time giggling our way through the sauna, steam room, cold-tub, and hot-tub over and over.

As we were preparing to leave for the last time, one of my friends came up to me wide-eyed. "I think I just saw Michael Strahan." For those who don’t know, Michael Strahan is one of the preeminent Defensive Ends in the NFL, and was a key leader in helping the New York Giants win the Super Bowl this last season. A few minutes later, as we were getting dressed, the man walked through, right behind me. I simply couldn’t let an opportunity like this pass. "Mister Strahan?" "Yeah, yeah…" he murmured. So, I shouted at him: "Congratulations!" "Thanks, man," he replied. I pressed further: "I thought YOU should have been the MVP." He laughed. "Well, you can’t divide that car up too many ways." "Yeah," I responded, having run out of my limited ability to make idle conversation. Well, see ya later, I thought, as I left with an awkward wave. He waved back.

Since then, I’ve been telling everyone about it. I met a celebrity. A particularly humongous celebrity at that. But this week, after the ump-teenth time of telling the story, a striking reality hit me:

Yeah, I talked to a celebrity for a few seconds. Truth is, he’s a normal human just like me and you. He’s good at some things and bad at others. Whoop-dee-do. In the scheme of things, there is nothing that is more exciting about that than meeting any other human being (who are all created in the Image of God and therefore all quite exciting). You want to know what's exciting on a level far beyond talking to a famous person? Every day, multiple times a day, I talk to the One who made Michael Strahan. Not only that, but He made the mountains, the oceans, and the stars in the farthest galaxies. He is as real as the football player who probably doesn’t even remember the awkward skinny guy who chatted with him in the locker room. But the One, the Triune God, does remember me.

I didn’t tell anyone about my encounters with the Truly Famous One during the days when I couldn’t not tell people about Mr. Strahan. But knowing that One, the Creator and Redeemer of the universe, is the most important knowledge anyone can ever attain. It should be the most exciting news I ever have, on any day: I got to talk to the King today. And he talked back. He told me he loves me. Can you believe it? It's the most wild thing that could ever happen. And it happens to me every day.

Sometimes, I start talking with that One and forget I’m talking with him. My mind will trail off. Or I’ll fall asleep. Or I’ll be addressing him but really talking about myself to myself. Even if I had hours to spend with the football player, that would never have happened. My attention would have been fixed on him, my adrenaline pumping. I would have tried to learn as much as I could about his life of fame, fortune, and football. I would have wanted to discover his humanness in it all. Why do I not do that with the King? He has granted me access to his inner courts any time I want. He has more fame, more fortune, and more prowess than all the athletes in the world combined (‘twould still be but a drop in his endless ocean of perfection).

If you pray, this is a reminder to you that every time you address the Lord in Heaven, you are engaging in the most holy activity that is possible in this life. You are encountering the most sought after, most generous, most righteous, and most powerful Person. If we really got that, there is no other person who could intimidate us or "starstrike" us. This is a wake up call to myself. I hope it is one to you, as well. Lord Jesus, King of the Heavens and the Earth, have mercy on me and my siblings. We just don’t get it most of the time. Help our unbelief. Amen.

The Eternal

There are heavy pressures in church leadership. I imagine other sorts of leadership carry the same sorts of pressures. Pressure to lead with passion. Pressure to have vision. Pressure to present strategy. Pressure to be relevant. Pressure to make people happy. Pressure to be in tune with God for a whole community of people. Pressure to live up to expectations. Pressure to read the right books. I could go on.

Some of these "pressures" are good. But as I prepare to lead the incredible little community called NC3, I have found myself drawn away from those pressures. My eyes have drifted to the eternal. Everything in me that has been taught how be an "effective" pastor is squirming, but my heart is drawn to lead by being in tune with history, overwhelmingly dependant on Scripture for guidance, and lost for hours in prayer every day.

In a world that is so connected, with information so accessible, with my friends in Israel and New Zealand only an email away, with philosophers declaring a new era (called "postmodernism"), the pressure is to try to follow all the trends, understand all the media, and develop language that somehow speaks all the dialects. But these pressures are ethereal, and the results of such journeys will blow away in a strong wind. What will remain is the eternal.

How can you step outside all your pressures today and grab hold of the eternal?